EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Harry and Meghan will fade away, says writer

EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Harry and Meghan will fade away, says writer

Royal biographer Tina Brown predicts that the Sussex Netflix extravaganza will mark the peak of Harry and Meghan’s assault on the Royal Family. Afterwards interest will wane, she says. ‘It’s such a pile that the Palace can only hope that the Sussex stink bombs will cancel each other out,’ she says. ‘I suspect the next two months – to use a psychological term – are the Sussexes’ ‘extinction burst’.’

Royal biographer Tina Brown predicts that the Sussex Netflix extravaganza will mark the peak of Harry and Meghan’s assault on the Royal Family

Brandreth, feverishly promoting his biography of the Queen, complains that all interviewers want to talk about is Harry and Meghan, ignoring ‘nuggets’ about HM such as him citing her personal cosmetician at the time of her Coronation as Thelma Besant, the daughter–in-law of Oscar Wilde. He added: ‘Oscar’s only grandchild, Merlin Holland, watched the Coronation from a window in Buckingham Palace.’ Surely Gyles is a shoo-in as an honorary member of the Useless Information Society.

Tory frontbencher Oliver Dowden, an admirer of Angela Rayner, approves of the Labour deputy leader, pictured, appearing at the despatch box in a sweater emblazoned with the slogan ‘Gingers are for life, not just for Christmas’. ‘In the spirit of consensus,’ he mewls during Cabinet Office questions, ‘may I welcome the right honourable lady’s jumper. As a fellow ginger, I endorse the sentiments of it.’ With a general strike looming, is Nero Dowden fiddling while Rome burns?

Tory frontbencher Oliver Dowden, an admirer of Angela Rayner, approves of the Labour deputy leader, pictured, appearing at the despatch box in a sweater emblazoned with the slogan ‘Gingers are for life, not just for Christmas’

In a bid to outshine fellow St Bride’s charity carol service reader Brian Blessed, the late John Sessions gave a rendition of the ‘Merry Elf’, charging down the aisle shouting ‘happy Christmas to all, to all a good night’. Recalls his friend Ian Hislop: ‘It was a splendid exit marred only by the fact that he knocked over the mayor of London’s historic and priceless mace, specially placed on its own stool, and caused significant damage to the 17th-century treasure. As one of the other actors put it comfortingly, ‘It’s all right John. No one is going to remember Brian Blessed now.’

Matt Hancock isn’t the only I’m a Celebrity contestant whose career has been transformed by the jungle ordeal. Seann Walsh, who came fifth, is in the middle of a sell-out Soho season. ‘It is amazing as three weeks ago I could not sell out a phone box. I would try and be in phone boxes going ‘Please, please, come and watch me please?’ – and here we are.’

Matt Hancock isn’t the only I’m a Celebrity contestant whose career has been transformed by the jungle ordeal. Seann Walsh, who came fifth, is in the middle of a sell-out Soho season 

What does Jacob Rees-Mogg think of the spoof 2023 calendar featuring him in black, lacy suspenders and clinging to an ‘I Love Boris’ teddy? ‘Sadly,’ he sighs, ‘I am not on commission.’

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